Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Swallowing It All

She made me breakfast
each morning as a kid
not to waste a morsel
and he said, if you don't
like it, you will get seconds. So,
I swallowed it all to please them.
No crumbs hidden
beneath my plate rim

Nothing hidden by me back then

Never realized what was conceded

By day the others dismissed me
As if extra weight softens the mind
Others would make remarks, show
callousness of another kind
I swallowed their image entire
Never disbelieving their stance
I did not learn to question them

Ashamed from these obvious failures

Never challenged their impressions

Later looking retrospectively
Mirror betrays all the pain
Every pound ever lost for them
returned with ten more gained
I swallowed it all without fighting
confused altogether again
Futile, with nothing to win

I swallowed that thought without asking

Swallowed whole, all lies shaped within

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