Feburary 1981

The first time
office talking
raining raining outside
appointments made
Ironically he told me he loved me that night before
words I would have relished more another night
didn't mean much to me at that point, pointless
I went on a gray morning with a best friend
who sticks by to this day
to the office atmosphere clinic cold
processed through like the others there
put through paces, lying back, the foot stirrups on the table
the doctor appears, you are explained to, and it all starts
the mechanical vacuum is weird and a little crampy
I stared vacantly at the walls, tried not to think about it
And after chatted aimlessly with the others there
snacks on the table for energy
like I just gave blood, which I did, in fact I did
back to the universe first blood
to whom I couldn't do justice

Washed Away

As March eases winter into spring I thought once
of what should be out growing
my thoughts of you are passed over for video
and there is no real interest in words shared between
the walls; there is no interest in creating a real river navigated together
but rather time passing by quietly without souls touching
hastening one to the sofa
and the other glued to writing, washed in wine

Anticipation of the Real Spring

And it was a seedling so long ago
so beautiful it was longing to grow
and so deeply afraid was I to kill it I dared not
even touch it but rather backed up and watched it grow
singing praises to this seedling growing
in ways I dared not believe but admired
so deeply all the while it grew and branched
into a tree so strong and wonderful
And found myself there a blossoming vine
wrapped through the branches
blossoming

Tulips

Tulips je t'adore
and say little
more than my heart
speaks and starts like paper
folded over the story that means
most to that inner soul like
warriors facing great
battles to begin and ending fast
to race like firemen to put out
the dry fire to my
tulips je t'adore

Sighting Sore Eyes

In my mind it is that quiet thing
walking into the door and sing
ing along to songs we share and adore
for our own reasons but these things cross
over from my mind to your heart and
not knowing how to ex
plain as day is to night gives in
to what I couldn't say out
loud as it exploded in my mind
fearful of what my own
reactions would be I find
your sparkling eyes
smiling at me

Quest Motion

Sometimes it's hard to open the door leaving it open and waiting for more
Sometimes it's hard to let the breeze in, swirling in my mind letting it in
And at times it's easier to wallow and waste, rather than reaching deep into space
And at times it's easier to let it wail by, rather than feeling or logic defy

Cold and tears twisting closing your eyes
Hot and sweat testing trying it on for size
Timid or coward or lazy or wise

Sometimes it has to happen, this continuum gone fallow
Sometimes it happens that your days pass by hollow
And knowing it's easier to wait for new moments
And knowing time twists oddly life laments